Each week we rank the teams in the SEC 1-14. This week LSU becomes Bane, Mississippi State takes its turn at the top of the heap (for now), and we dissrespectin’ Bama.
1. No 1 Mississippi St. Bulldogs (7-0, 4-0 SEC)
Clearly the best team in the country right now, and I still wouldn’t be all that surprised if they drop this weekend’s contest against Arkansas. That’s where we’re at in the SEC right now. This is a conference that, much like a Praying Mantis*, eats its own young and leaves only the lucky — which are then categorized as “the strong” — to survive. And that’s what it takes to win this league: just survive.
*This poorly-thought-out metaphor is almost certainly incorrect, and based on (at best) a middle-school level of understanding biology
2. No. 3 Auburn Tigers (6-1, 3-1)
Hard to penalize the Tigers for going to the wire against a still-dangerous Auburn team, but there were some points of concern in Saturday’s game. The Tiger defense, which has looked downright good for much of the year, struggled to stop an inconsistent Gamecock attack other than three Dylan Thompson interceptions.
This weekend’s matchup with Ole Miss isn’t a play-in game to the playoff — the winner still has a long way to go to get there — but the loser is likely eliminated unless they can win the conference.
3. No. 4 Ole Miss Rebels (7-1, 4-1)
There’s Bad Bo Wallace! The Dr. was just 14/33 passing and threw one of the worst interceptions you’ll see this season when an incomplete pass would’ve taken the Rebels to overtime in Baton Rouge. This game was bound to come sooner or later,
On a related note: the playoff committee rankings — like all midseason rankings, including the article you are reading right now — are useless, but keeping Ole Miss in the top four was absolutely the right call. The most obnoxious thing many polls do is succumb to recency bias with losses, and the committee didn’t fall into that trap. Just because the Rebels lost last week and Oregon won doesn’t mean the Ducks are automatically the better team. So good job by Condi Rice and friends.
4. No. 11 Georgia Bulldogs (6-1, 4-1)
Could the NCAA have actually done Georgia a favor by suspending Todd Gurley for an additional two games? Think about it.
If the Bulldogs survive the next two games against Florida and Kentucky, which they should comfortably, they get the nation’s best player back in time for their toughest game of the season. Oh, and he’s had four weeks of rest, 80 less carries on his odometer, and he’s going to be pissed off when he gets back on the field.
Really, y’all should be thanking Mark Emmert.
5. No. 6 Alabama Crimson Tide (7-1, 4-1)
The Tide jus’ ain’t played nobody yet, Pawwwwllll. ‘Cept for that sorry-ass Archie Manning’s team and we all saw how that happened. Roll Damn Goalpoasts.
In all seriousness, there are five ranked teams in the SEC West and Alabama hasn’t beaten any of them. I’m open to the Tide being the best team in the conference at the end of the year, but we just haven’t seen it yet.
6. No. 19 LSU Tigers (7-2, 3-2)
Les Miles has a winning record when his teams are trailing during the fourth quarter. If that’s not proof that the man is a goddang sorcerer or Bane then I don’t know what is.
Oh, you think the darkness is your ally, but you merely adopted the dark. Les Miles was born in it, molded by it. He didn’t see the light until he was already a man; by then, it was nothing to him but blinding! The shadows betray you, because they belong to Les Miles. He will show you where he has made his home, whilst preparing to bring justice. Then, he will break you.
7. Arkansas Razorbacks (4-4, 0-4)
Shhhhhhh. Don’t speak, just watch.
8. Kentucky Wildcats (5-3, 2-3)
Played Mississippi State as well as could reasonably be expected, and had a chance in the fourth quarter. The Wildcats were trailing by just a touchdown and then things went horribly, horribly wrong.
9. Texas A&M Aggies (5-3, 2-3)
Had a bye week. Alabama still scored four more touchdowns on them.
10. Missouri Tigers (6-2, 3-1)
Remember that time when Missouri lost to Indiana and could still win the SEC East with just one Georgia loss? Man, the West should secede from this conference or something because the East just isn;t up to par.
11. South Carolina Gamecocks (4-4, 2-4)
A fire once burned down the library at Auburn University. In response, Steve Spurrier said, “but the real tragedy was that fifteen hadn’t been colored yet.”
That doesn’t have much to do with the game on Saturday, I just think that Steve Spurrier is hilarious.
12. Florida Gators (3-3, 2-3)
Realistically, what could Will Muschamp do to get fired on the sidelines this weekend against Georgia? Like, if the Dawgs were up 42-0 at halftime do you think he just wouldn’t be allowed to come out for the second half? We need to try and make this happen, for science.
13. Tennessee Volunteers (3-5, 0-4)
Saturday’s matchup against Alabama was emblematic of the Butch Jones era at Tennessee thusfar. The Volunteers were badly outplayed by Alabama, with the game turning into a blowout int he first half, but made enough noise in the fourth quarter to give Tennessee fans hope.
Jones will likely have a worse record after two seasons in Knoxville than Derek Dooley did. There’s a lot of positive momentum in Neyland Stadium right now, but that will only last so long without the wins to validate it.
14. Vanderbilt Commodores (2-6, 0-5)
Exclusive video from the Vanderbilt locker room:
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